Godly Roles in Marriage: A Reflection on Submission, Honor, and Faith -1st Peter 3:1-7
Introduction
In a world increasingly confused about identity, authority, and purpose, Scripture provides a clear and glorious blueprint for relationships—especially within marriage. 1 Peter 3:1–7 presents a countercultural, Spirit-filled vision of marriage where wives and husbands serve distinct but equally precious roles under God’s design. The structure of marriage and the relationship to follow was formed by God in the garden of Eden by creating man from the dust of the earth and forming woman from the flesh of Adam. Gen 2:23 “and Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she had taken us out of Man. That gives us the idea of God’s divinely authored structure. Proper management of this structure is the responsibility of both man and the woman. You may see Eve was deceived by the serpent. It is not a matter of putting blame on Eve alone, but it is obvious that Adam neglected his responsibility of protecting her. You observe that their response to the issue was blaming each other and blaming God for making them. They have gained the feeling of self protection and selfishness after the sin. Death of 2 living people, the knowledge knowledge ‘good and evil’ that is evil conscience.
But after the curse, Gen: 3:20 we read “Adam called his wife’s name Eve: Because she was the mother of all living. This was the gospel and the hope they had. They were declared dead by eating the fruit of the tree, but they were informed about a godly progeny “living” eternally. They will be born of them as descendents but will be living through the work of “Christ “who would be bearing the burden of their sins and sins of the World. So, they loved each other with the Hope that was given by God
This is the mystery of marriage and the church and Christ. In this establishment there is a nature of flesh and its reflections as well as the nature of an inward life much more precious and eternal. The flesh must the reduced and the inward holiness must be reflected in our minds, speech, walk and conduct. We have trouble because of that emotional nature of the flesh; however, it will be balanced by the inner working of the Holy Spirit.
This passage in 1st Peter 3:1-7 is not about worth or value of husband or wife —it is about role and responsibility. Both husband and wife are equal heirs of grace yet are called to reflect various aspects of Christ in their conduct.
This document offers a meditation on the passage, drawing from both Scripture and thoughtful reflection, especially through the example of Sarah and Abraham.
The Call to Wives (1 Peter 3:1–6)
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives…” (vv. 1–2)
· “Likewise,” Points back to the earlier exhortation-just as servants are to submit (2:18), and all believers to human institutions (2:13), so wives are to submit in Christlike spirit.
· This is not about inferiority but order and God’s design within the household.
· The Purpose: if the husband is unbelieving or disobedient to the word (not necessarily) an unbeliever-could also be a believer acting rebelliously), the wife’s godly conduct-pure and respectful-can be a means of God’s work in his heart
· It shows God’s power through quiet witness, not argument
– Submission in the Lord
Submission is not inferiority—it is trust in God’s order. Even when the husband is disobedient to the Word, the wife is called to respond not with correction, but with respectful, pure conduct-
–The Power of a Quiet Witness “Without a word” emphasizes that godly conduct is often the most powerful testimony. Her purity and reverence are tools of God’s work in the husband’s heart. – True Adornment
Verses 3-4 “Do not let your adorning be external… but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight very precious”
· Peter contrasts outward adornment with inner spiritual beauty.
· He is not forbidding physical adornment but rather redirecting the source of true beauty.
· The phrase “gentle and quiet spirit” speaks of calm, trusting, and submissive heart-not loud or contentious (cf. Proverb 21:9)
· God esteems this kind of spirit- “precious in His sight.”
· This also connects with faith- it takes faith to entrust oneself to God and live this way, especially under a husband who may not be godly.
The world demands outward beauty and self-assertion, but the Holy Spirit commends the gentle and quiet spirit—precious in God’s sight.
The Example of Sarah (vv. 5–6)
“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear”
Sarah’s submission was not blind or weak—it was faith-filled and courageous
Peter refers to the Old Testament matriarchs as example of godly womanhood.
Sarah calling Abraham “lord” (Cf. Gen 18:2) reflected a heart of respect and honor toward her husband.
Sarah put her hope in God is key – These women did not live this way because their husbands were perfect, but because they trusted God’s sovereignty and care.
The phrase “do not fear anything that is frightening” is powerful- it implies that submission, especially in hard marriages, is not passive fearlessness but courage rooted in faith
It is also to be noted that Sarah had every right to be upset with Abraham—especially due to the terrible experience she had in Egypt. Abraham acted out of fear, yet Sarah did not complain daily about it. Instead, she called him “master.” A true woman who seeks the will of God.
Even when Abraham exposed Sarah to danger in Egypt (Genesis 12), Sarah did not retaliate or despise her husband. Her submission was an act of hope in God, not trust in Abraham’s perfection.
Abraham and Sarah, despite their flaws, become a shining example of a God-centered marriage. Sarah trusted God even when Abraham failed her. Abraham, despite early failures, grew into a man who honored his wife and trusted God.
This passage does not promise easy relationships—it calls for faith, humility, and hope in God.
The Call to Husbands (1 Peter 3:7)
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
The responsibility of the husband is far greater than the wife.
– The husband must dwell with the wife according to knowledge.
The behavior of the husband towards his wife should be based on the knowledge and must the honorable. This knowledge is the standard which is shown by God. It must be by the spiritual working in him. Husband must give honor to his wife. Handle her as a tender vessel, fragile vessel, hold in hands carefully. Protect and nurture her and cherish her. A godly husband lives with his wife in wisdom and sensitivity. He must not be harsh or self-centered. Though called the “weaker vessel,” the wife is not spiritually inferior. She is an equal heir of the grace of life.
Abraham should have given up his life for Sarah, like Christ gave Himself for the church. This is the high calling of the husband: to love like Christ, laying down his life for the good and flourishing of his wife.
The protection that Adam was called to do for his wife was ignored by Adam. But Christ by giving up of Him for the church showed us an example for us to follow. This nature must be manifested in the conduct of a husband who is a Christian.
If a husband fails in this divine responsibility, his prayers will be hindered. A man’s communication with God as the leader of his household should not be hindered by his own action towards his wife.
Prayer and communion with God are the strength of a man. It can be hindered by the failure of his relationship with his wife. If a child of God’s prayer is hindered, his fellowship with God is hindered. A godly man should never let this happen.
Application & Discussion Points
1. For Wives:
– What does it mean to submit “without a word” in a culture that promotes self-expression?
– How can hope in God replace fear in difficult marital situations? 2. For Husbands:
– In what ways are you honoring your wife as a co-heir of grace?
– What might be hindering your prayers based on your treatment of your wife? 3. For All Believers:
– How do Abraham and Sarah help us understand our own role in the church?
– How does marriage reflect Christ and His church?
2. Conclusion
1 Peter 3:1–7 offers a vision of marriage that is not built on human strength but on divine grace. Such a marriage testifies to the beauty of God’s design, the power of quiet faith, and the glory of Christlike love.
“You are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” — 1 Peter 3:6